drops of sunshine
thoughts
ramblings
rants
poetry
music
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i have no idea where i’m going next
time keeps ticking by,
but none of this is getting any easier
there are dreams i had
and dreams i want to keep
but there are new dreams
and new fears
and it’s al getting so jumbled up in my mind
i always promised myself i’d be great
but what is “great”
what does that mean?
can i make a name for myself
or should i be happy
or is there a way to do both
i’m so trapped in myself
sometimes its hard to move
maybe if i had more courage
id cut you loose
but i dont think thats the thing to do
i don’t think thats the thing to do at alli have been anchored here a little too long
it’s time i cut this rope and let myself float oni just don’t know yet in what direction
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who would’ve thought?!
i still dont think i cook like i should, and i dont enjoy “cooking with others” because im pretty sure they’ll notice all the little things i do wrong (i dont think i ever use the right knife and i dont know how to julienne peppers) but! yesterday i made a fresh balsamic veggie pasta salad and strawberry short cake and the other day i made summer icecubes! (raspberry, lemon and mint)
AND I ALSO LIKE GARDENING (probably more than cooking) i love flowers and i love plants that grow food (we have a mint plant and a strawberry plant and a tomato plant that already has 3 tomatoes!!)
i used to laugh at women who liked these things but i get it now…its like art with benefits (yummy food and lasting prettiness haha)
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my mother accidently died her hair orange
my heart is broken
and i’m playing the waiting game
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Litany
You are the bread and the knife,
The crystal goblet and the wine…
-Jacques Crickillon
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general’s head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.
And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.
I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.
I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman’s tea cup.
But don’t worry, I’m not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and—somehow—the wine.Billy Collins -
though i feel my life is on the brink of change.
it’s probably graduation soon, trying to get an internship in atlanta or the fact that i just finished my senior film (filming it atleast) but i think it may be something even more than that
i feel like i have regained myself but maybe only for a few hours. i am exhausted as this weekend was exhausting. but my senior film went great and i am so excited about the footage. i really feel big things ahead for it and i just hope i dont let other things hold me back.
this is what i’ve been waiting for, for a while now, i just may be too exhausted at the moment to really sink my teeth into it. besides there are many more decisions to be made soon. im not done moving yet. ive only just begun. this rest is temporary.
on another note. thank you everyone. the person who gave a dollar, my mother who worked tirelessly, my crew, my cast, and the businesses that cut us a break on prices etc
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I graduate soon.
And I’m gonna be honest, I never thought I’d be one of those people freaking out about it. I thought I had it all figured out
HAHAHAHAHA now that’s a hilarious joke.
i’m not even sure what city i wanna live in: atlanta, la, atlanta, la, ny?, denver, atlanta, atlanta, nashville, LA, atlanta…
there are different priorities in each place, and i don’t know which one is “supposed to be” my number one priority.
and on top of it all I’m gonna miss me some Savannah :(
